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My Heart Is Forever Broken. My Sweet Friend Is No Longer Here.

Its taken me a long time to get to the point where I am able to sit down and write about my dearly missed Sirocco... I miss her so very much. Sirocco was more than "just a goat". She was a sweet soul like no other and she touched the depths of my heart like no other. She was a dear, dear friend. She was very, very special. She had emotional abilities that other goats just don't possess. She could smile with her eyes, she communicated with her herd mates in very clear ways that I've never seen any other goat do. She was really something very special. She had a unique ability to really, deeply connect with me and we shared a deep bond and love. She melted my heart everytime I laid eyes on her. I miss her so much. She was such a huge part of my daily joy. I will forever be greatful for the honor of being her person for the time I had her and I am deeply grateful for everything she did for me. She made her mark on this herd, and on my heart. I loved Sirocco before I ever even knew that she was something special as far as breeding goes. I'm so very greatful for what she did for the herd, but this remembrance isn't about that. Its about the wonderful soul that Sirocco was and how very deeply and dearly she is missed.


It is so hard for me to even write about her. I miss her more than ever. I still am unable to think about her without deep anguish over the loss of my sweet friend. Some may think that is overly dramatic, but try to understand, that she was a huge part of my daily joy. She was the one soul that I connected to daily, and shared love with. I sang to her every morning and told her what a beautiful girl she was, hugged and kissed her every morning before she left the milk room. She knew how special she was to me. Everytime I'd come within eyesight of her, she would lift her head up high, and smile at me with the sweetest half moon eyes. She melted my heart everytime I laid eyes on her and all of that is gone now, so please spare the thoughts that I am being overly dramitic. Most people have no concept what it is like to not have someone you are close with (kids, spouse, GF/BF, family...etc.) in your everyday life. I am still surrounded by 70 sweet little souls, but none connect to me like my dear sweet Sirocco did. She was my heart and my joy.

I am only writing this now because basically I have to. I would much prefer to keep my loss private but people have already started asking if I am going to breed her and if I will be selling any of her kids. I know I need to acknowledge publically that she is gone, but I can't barely do it. My heart is broken over the loss of my sweet, sweet friend. PLEASE, I understand people are well meaning but PLEASE, don't offer me condolences. Please don't ask me about her. Please, don't mention it to me. I have to still get through my days and I do manage to get my head into a positive direction at times and I just won't be able to bare a bombardment of well meaning condolences and questions... continually bringing me back to the deep sadness I feel at losing my best friend.

No, she wasn't sick, no it wasn't worms, no, I don't want to talk about details of what happened. I miss my friend. Nothing is bringing her back. She left this Earth the same year her dam and sire left and it was way too early for her. She was at the prime of her life and I thought we had many more years together. I wish I would have taken more pictures of her, just pasture pictures, just pictures of her beautiful face and loving gaze. I wish I could hold her one more time, hug her neck tight and kiss her sweet head. I always thought she would be with me through old age. I would have loved her every day of her life, through old age and natural death. This loss has hit me hard. Not because of genetics, not because of LA scores or milk production, or Elite status or Superior Genetics. Sirocco was my friend. And a very, very special one at that. I live alone and I don't interact with many people on a deeper, more personal level. The ones that I do, now all live very far away. Sirocco was my heart. She was all I needed. She was happiness. My heart is broken. As a goat producer, I have had losses of all ages and they are all sad, but none have come anywhere close to the sadness and sense of loss I have over losing my sweet, dear friend, Sirocco. My heart aches for her. I am blessed to have three daughters and two sons from her, so her genetics will continue. I miss HER. No one can replace her.

I understand well meaning condelences, but please understand that is not helping me. This has been extremely difficult for me to write... I can't bare to focus on the fact that she is no longer with me, so I try hard to refocus on everything else around me and I know I have so much to be grateful for. Please help me in doing this by not bringing me back to my loss by talking about her to me. I will get to that point some day, on my own time. The only exception would be if you happen to have taken some candid photos of her while you were here. I would love to have copies. They will surely make me cry, but I don't have enough pictures of her and I miss her beautiful face more than I can express in writing. If you have pictures, please do share them with me.

I know there are many big hearted, genuine people out there, but I'm also well aware that there are a lot of nasty and fake people that will get some bit of satisfaction out of me not having Sirocco anymore. If you happen to be one of THOSE people, just know that I hope some day you clear your heart of that type of evil. Please keep that negative energy far, far away from me.

Always Loved, Never Forgotten, Forever Missed!!!!